September 6th 2019 11;11 pm 7lb 10oz 20 1/2 inches. 41+3

I had always felt there was an other girl for us in the universe somewhere. But after our "last" and #4 birth of our son (also homebirth) we decided to close our chapter with making tiny humans. It was hard at first but we made it. I decided to do my "calling" in birth work as a doula which helped. I had been on birth control that of which later after we were pregnant with #5 was recalled. 

January- I was a day late, thinking to myself naaa there is no way, can't be. Then 3 days late I knew, but took a test to confirm...yup! Still in disbelief, I texted my friend a picture "does this look positive? Is it?!??' ...yes indeed it was! 

I took a few days to wrap my head around #5. I was still in disbelief. I worked up the courage to tell my husband. With out a doubt asking him "sooo uh, Carmen"? Our awesome midwife from our last homebirth. We transferred later in care with our son to carmen, we felt safe, supported, and in great care. Something that meant alot to us. 

So I emailed Carmen.."So ..ya ready for round 2?!?" Which I giggled at myself when I sent it Because Jay and I had been saying and dead set on, no 4 is good, we are done! Suuureee. Lol

We met with Carmen at 12 weeks, the kids and I were so excited to see her again, Scarlett our oldest daughter absolutely loves Carmen. 

14 weeks we found out it was a girl!!! Which I had a feeling,but the I was like it probably has a penis, get ready for 4 boys ma! I excitedly texted Carmen "it's a girl!!!!!" 

Our pregnancy was beautiful, healthy mom and baby, smooth sailing. Besides being pregnant In summer...whew! 

We enjoyed our offices visits with Carmen and waited for the big day. 

Our guess date came and went, which for being #5 I honestly didn't think I would go over. I would text Carmen asking what can I do to get this baby out. A few times I felt so discouraged. I had only gone into labor once by myself, the rest where hospital induced. I thought maybe my body forgot, maybe I was broken. Carmen reassured me and lifted me up "you arnt broken". She taught me to trust myself, my body, and my baby, and her. 

I tried several things with out any luck. When I would get antsy and text Carmen she would reassured me that my body and baby know just what to do. 

On the day Shiloh was born it was a rough one, kids were ansty I was, hubby was. I knew we needed a change in senery, I so hole hearted wanted my bigs to be there for the birth of their sister. But I had a feeling that may not be the plan that was needed. The inlaws agreed to take the kids so I could relax. My husband loaded up the kids and headed to Pueblo. 

I turned off the lights, put on Netflix, and made ravioli. 30 minutes later not even before I could finish my ravioli I felt waves coming every 10 minutes. I texted Carmen to just give heads up just in case but in the back of my mind  thing they will die off again (seemed to be the pattern the last few weeks) I texted my best friend who lives next door, and our photographer. About 30 minutes I could tell these waves getting stronger and more frequent. I finished a wave and called my husband "uhh where are you?! I'm in labor' he was still in Pueblo. 'oh sh** I'll be right there leaving now" apparently he got in the car so fast lol. I texted Carmen and told her she asked if they got more frequent and I said yes and they hurt. By the time I got changed and texted my friend to come over I had to stop what I was doing to get thru them. Carmen asked if it was time and should come "yes, probably not a bad idea'. I have super fast labors, like taking 2 1/2 hours fast. She said she was on her way. Eliza and I started setting up the pool and laughing and talking waiting for Jay and Carmen to come. I kept thinking oh man who will get here first. We got the pool set up besides water, I got the crock pot with ginger going and rode the waves.  Around 930 I asked Carmen "youre on your way right?" She was not even 8 mins from house, I giggled at Eliza, "man Carmen must flying, it's only been like 15 mins, she lives 20/25 min away".  Not to long after that my husband pulled up, thank goodness!! And Carmen right after him. Later on I asked them "who won?" Lol. The waves started picking up more and more, the team finished filling the birth pool, yess I thought to myself, I didn't get to use it except to push with our last homebirth. Before I got into the pool, the vibes in the house were calm, relaxing, everyone was talking, joking, my husband was making me laugh because he said we could laugh the baby outta me lol. It was such an amazing experience once more. I had my encourage cards hung up, the lights plugged in. It was something special for me. 

When I got I to the pool the waves picked up increasing in strength and time. The rest of the team showed up not to long after I got in, which was a huge relief knowing everyone was there in time. 

I drifted off to labor land, with my husband and Eliza helping me cope with back labor. I remember getting close to transition and thinking man I'm ready for this to be done, the back labor was super intense this time. I even muttered out I don't want to do it anymore, at that time Eliza sat by me and encouraging that I could and I am. As things picked up my husband didn't leave my side. And I absolutely loved that part. Having three in the hospital, he was always slightly shoved out of the way. And with our last he was still boiling water as I muttered for him to come catch his son lol

Once I hit transition I couldn't get comfortable nothing felt right besides being up right in the pool. The became closer and closer which I kinda lost my focus for awhile, Carmen grab my hand for a few contractions (which sorry for squeezing so hard haha) but it helped ground me and find focus again. And I absolutely love that I had such an amazing midwife by my side. For the beginning to the end. It helps heal you, and find strength within your self. You feel safe, loved, and cared for. Something all momma's (and dads too) should find in a provider. 

I'm not sure on the time or how long I pushed but it was intense. I felt my body shift not even knowing it to help push little lady out. 

Before you knew it Shiloh was out. A sweet relief. I took a moment to catch myself before grabbing her. I asked and made sure she didn't have a penis . I turned around and saw my sweet beautiful girl, with a head full of black hair. Such a blessing it was to have our 2nd and last daughter at home. We are so very grateful for our midwife Carmen, photographer Erica, and best friend doula Eliza. Thank you all for being apart of this journey and capturing this moment.